4 Practical Tips for Leading Teams Through Conflict
How to fuel innovation through active listening and straight talk
Conflict is expected and necessary in the fast-paced world of software development. Diverse perspectives and constructive debates fuel high-performing teams toward innovative solutions and excellence. Yet, the effectiveness often hinges on how leaders and teams manage conflict.
Reflecting on my leadership journey, I recognize how my initial approach—favoring compromise and shying away from conflict—sometimes stalled progress or suboptimal solutions. Through self-awareness and embracing difficult conversations, I learned to harness different conflict styles as a driver for breakthroughs.
Embracing Your Conflict Style
Realizing that avoiding conflict was not maintaining peace but delaying necessary discussions was pivotal. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) gave me insights into my and others’ conflict-handling styles: competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating. This understanding transformed how I navigated challenges, enabling me to guide teams effectively.
One memorable instance for me involved coaching an engineering manager about balancing product priorities with technical debt reduction and the importance of pushing back on misaligned feature requests. Sharing my lessons in over-accommodation led the manager towards assertive and constructive dialogue, paving the way for investments in a modern platform that sparked groundbreaking advancements.
A Culture of Active Listening
Active listening is a crucial skill for productive conflicts. Without it, conflicts can escalate and become unproductive. By taking the time to understand concerns, issues, and underlying emotions that are not always explicitly stated, we can create an environment where everyone feels heard and understood. This skill is essential for fostering better communication and collaboration with team members, stakeholders, and peers across organizations.
I recall a quiet brainstorming session with a developer, where my genuine curiosity and encouragement to speak up led us to discover a breakthrough solution previously overlooked.
Embracing Candor with Compassion
In coaching sessions, whether with an employee or a client, I've shifted to an advocate for candor tempered with empathy. When discussing performance or project direction, I aim for honesty, articulating concerns clearly with constructive, actionable feedback. This approach has transformed potentially tense reviews into collaborative work sessions where people learn and grow.
“Clear is kind, unclear is unkind,” the researcher and author Brene Brown said. Honesty is a gift that propels team members to performance and personal growth.
Finding the balance between agreeableness and assertiveness is an art. Leading with humility and confidence encourages open dialogue, sparks new ideas and creativity, and drives teams forward in an ever-evolving technological landscape.
Establishing Team Behavioral Agreements
Setting clear, collaborative guidelines for addressing conflict can preempt misunderstandings and foster resolution. Team behavioral agreements are commitments made by the team for the team. These agreements help create personal accountability critical for overcoming conflicts.
One way to approach this is to encourage teams to incorporate the TKI into face-to-face team meetings or performance workshops.
This approach has helped team members and clients reflect on how conflict styles and actions contribute to—or detract from—shared objectives, empowering them to embrace their role in the collective success.
Four Practical Tips for Leading Through Conflict
Through years of coaching and leading teams, these five key strategies have proven effective in transforming team dynamics:
Embrace and Understand Conflict Styles: Encourage your team to identify and explore their conflict styles using a helpful assessment tool for additional clarity. Most of us have one style we default to, and while effective, there may be better choices. Awareness of your conflict style and when to adapt fosters empathy, a key component in navigating team dynamics.
Implement Active Listening: Regular, informal check-ins with your team can uncover invaluable insights and reinforce the value of each member's contributions. Make this a part of your 1:1s and team meetings.
Codify Team Behavior Agreements: Clearly defined protocols for resolving conflict empower team members to address disagreements constructively, promoting a healthy team environment.
Practice Compassionate Candor: Cultivate an environment where honest, direct feedback is respectfully given and received openly. The goal is open, honest communication, enabling productive discussions that lead to resolution, even when people disagree.
Embracing conflict has been transformative for both me and my teams. By mastering conflict styles, practicing active listening, and fostering candor, we've cultivated teams capable of productive debates that drive us toward the best solutions. Effective design and progress stem from these constructive, additive discussions.
I encourage you to integrate these approaches into your leadership practice. Observe the transformation in your team's dynamics and share your journey.
👉 How have you navigated team conflicts to foster innovation and unity? Tag me to continue the conversation and learn from each other's journeys in leading through conflict.
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