Actively Listening to Increase Impact

A practical guide to conversations that build relationships.

Have you ever noticed how easily misunderstandings and disengagement can occur within teams? Often, the root cause is that we need to truly listen to each other. The impact of ineffective listening is costly and leads to misalignment, missed opportunities, and conflicts. This lack of connection stifles productivity and creativity, especially in technical teams and high-pressure environments where clarity is critical.

Interestingly, most people only realize they have an issue with listening when they receive specific feedback that it is affecting their stakeholder relationships or team dynamics. Listening is one of the easiest skills to understand, yet one of the most challenging habits to change. We spend nearly half of our waking hours listening, but much of that time is spent at the lowest level—listening to respond. Recognizing that there are different listening levels can help us improve how we engage with others.

Three Levels of Listening

  1. Listening to Reply. This is typically our default state. We often listen to our inner voice, thinking about how what we hear will affect us and how we’ll respond, waiting our turn to speak rather than truly understanding the other person.

  2. Listening to Hear. When motivated, most of us can reach this level. It involves tuning in to the other person and staying focused on what they are trying to communicate. At this level, we hear the message and reflect on what is said but may stop short of a deeper understanding of what’s being communicated.

  3. Listening to Understand. This is the highest level of listening and requires intentional practice. It requires deep focus and attention to the words, tone, body language, and what is unsaid. At this level, we’re genuinely attuned to the other person, aiming to understand their intent and emotions.

Only about 10% of us listen effectively. We are distracted by notifications, to-do lists, and our desire to jump in and solve problems. Yet people want to feel heard and understood, especially in high-stakes technical environments. Mastering active listening isn’t just about improving your skills; it’s about creating an atmosphere where your team feels valued and empowered.

Discovering A Solution to Better Listening

Early in my leadership journey,  I recall a brainstorming session with developers where I was eager to share my thoughts and provide advice before the team finished presenting. I remember feeling confused by their disengagement until a trusted team member pointed out that I needed to listen more. It was a wake-up call. That’s when I learned about the Listen, Reflect, Ask (LRA) model.

The LRA model encourages leaders to listen attentively, reflect on what was said to ensure understanding and ask thoughtful follow-up questions. It’s a simple yet powerful framework that transformed my communication in my personal and professional life. Now, I approach conversations with curiosity, genuinely listen, and encourage others to share their perspectives. This approach leads to innovation and breakthrough solutions that previously would have been overlooked. I’ve learned to pay attention to the triggers that make it harder to stay in listening mode. To remind me, I have a Post-it note on my computer that says - “Stay curious.”. 

LRA: Listen, Reflect, Ask

A different and better way to listen.

The Listen, Reflect, Ask (LRA) Model

  • Listen: Start by being curious. Pay attention to what is and isn't being said—notice language, emotions, tone, pace of speech, and body language. Try to suspend judgment and focus fully on the speaker.

  • Reflect: Mirror what you heard. Use phrases like, “It sounds like…,” “It looks like…,” or “It seems…” to let the other person know they are being heard and to give them a chance to confirm or clarify their message.

  • Ask: Ask open-ended questions about something you’re curious about. These questions should deepen your understanding, uncover opportunities, and show that you value what the speaker is saying.

Active Listening Matters

Active listening is not just a communication tool—it’s a powerful way to create impact. Whether you aim to improve business outcomes, build healthier team relationships, manage conflicts, or foster innovation, listening plays a key role. Without active listening, conflicts can escalate quickly, and misunderstandings can deepen. By taking the time to understand underlying concerns and emotions, you create an environment where everyone feels heard and understood—laying the groundwork for productive dialogue, even in challenging situations.

By showing your team their voices are valued, you empower them to contribute fully, leading to better ideas, stronger collaboration, and greater success.

Take the First Step

Improving your team’s communication and boosting engagement starts with intentional listening. Download the Active Listening Guide to begin using the LRA model today.

As engineering leaders, we’ve often been rewarded in our careers for having the answers. We must learn, practice, and apply the different behaviors as we grow, effectively upgrading our leadership operating systems.  

Enhancing your “leadership features” takes learning, practicing, and application. Fortunately, many open-source frameworks can get you there more quickly. Don’t go it alone. I'm here to help you and your team create more impact and become high-performing. Schedule a strategic leadership session today and fast-track your career growth.

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