Overcome Stress, Learn to Focus on What You Can Control
Understanding and applying the Circles of Influence exercise
Recognizing the difference between the things you can change and those you can’t will help you build resilience. At times, we all focus on things that impact us but are beyond our control, which drains our energy and reduces our resilience.
Stephen Covey's 'Circles of Influence' exercise helps us shift our focus to what we can influence or control, allowing us to invest our time and energy more effectively.
Adopting the principles from this exercise, we learn to differentiate between what we are concerned about, what we can influence, and what we can directly control. By focusing our attention and energy on the areas within our influence and control, we build resilience, reduce burnout, and make a meaningful impact.
Circles of Influence Exercise-Credit: Stephen Covey
Finding Clarity Using the Three Circles
Your Circle of Concern: These are all the things that matter to you—issues that affect your life or work, such as market changes, company policies, or new organizational leadership. This circle is often broad and includes many factors you have little or no control over.
Your Circle of Influence: Within your concerns are areas where you can make a difference. You can influence these things—like providing input to decision-makers, supporting your team, or recommending process improvements. Focusing on this circle allows you to use your energy and cross-org leadership skills to effect a meaningful change.
Your Circle of Control: This is the smallest yet most powerful circle. It includes what you can directly control—your actions, decisions, and behaviors. Focusing on what you can control helps direct your energy effectively and reduces stress about things beyond your reach.
Proactive vs. Reactive
One key insight from using the Circles of Influence is recognizing the difference between proactive and reactive behavior. Proactive individuals focus their time and energy on the circles of influence and control—they take action where they can make a difference. In contrast, reactive individuals tend to focus on the circle of concern, spending their energy on things they cannot change, leading to frustration and victimization.
By shifting your focus to what you can control or influence, you can be more effective and resilient. You can approach challenges with a mindset that turns obstacles into opportunities for growth.
Putting It into Practice
A client of mine, a Senior Director of Software Engineering, was constantly stressed by the shifting strategic priorities in the competitive SaaS marketplace. She was focused on her circle of concern—things she couldn’t change, such as the reduction in VC funding. Together, we identified her circles of concern, influence, and control. Through this process, she realized that she could influence how her team adapted to these changes and focus on aspects she could control, like the way she communicated updates and supported her team through periods of uncertainty. This shift helped her regain a sense of agency and significantly reduced her stress.
Why This Matters
Understanding and applying the Circles of Influence can profoundly impact your leadership journey. By focusing on what you can influence and control, you can direct your energy where it truly matters, leading to greater impact and less burnout. This exercise is about building resilience, prioritizing effectively, and empowering yourself and your team to navigate challenges confidently.
Take the First Step
Ready to focus on what truly matters and lead with clarity? Download the Circles of Influence Guide and take your next step towards building resilience and driving meaningful change.
Leadership isn’t just about managing others—it’s about managing yourself and your energy. As our careers grow, we need to upgrade our capabilities, much like we evolve the capabilities of the software products we are responsible for building. Let’s work together to maximize your impact and accelerate your growth. Focus on what you can control and book a complimentary leadership strategy session today.